It is an old part of my life, key to my survival, that one of the ways—one of the only ways—I can help myself, is by helping others. The problems are the answers. Self-absorption is a problem; helping others is the solution.
It is my experience and understanding that most of the problems of my life, are illusory. Yeah. Unmet expectations, insecurities which are always groundless, fear of what might happen, reliance on others not working out—as expected (expectations again). Most of the problems in my life are illusory.
There are plenty of things for me to complain about. For all I could complain about, legitimate complaints mind you, so what? I’m a solid dude, and my essentials are safe. My ego is upset its not worshiped as God, but so what? I am not my ego. My ego can just STFU. My life is my own. My time is my own. My choices are mine to make, not someone else’s commands, to which I am expected to comply. I live with uncompromised sincerity.
What is wealthier than that?
Wealth begins and ends with my integrity. Which gets back to helping one’s self, by helping others.
Helping others.
Once upon a time, I’d help people, because I was a hero. It was an egotistical “look at me” bullshitfest. I was living an ego driven ideological life. I sought to be this imagined stereotyped archetype of a “great man.” I betrayed all chance of it, by trying to being anything other than who I am. Helping others so that I would be a hero was very limiting in rewards, like none, because the objective is itself illusory.
As an American, living a spiritual life, not an ego driven ideological life, helping others is immensely rewarding, It is a celebration of us being who we are. People with needs and abilities, of which we share by choice of needs, not heroics. This is a big deal. Helping others reliefs me of needing to be a “hero,” and comforts me in realizing that I too, am a person of needs.
I ask for help when I need it. I didn’t used to do that, ever. I help others when I can. Before, helping people was part of being an idealized hero.
Now when people help me, I recognize that they benefit in return, of which my needs make possible. Likewise, I am grateful to those I am able to help. I respect myself that much more when I can help, and do it.
Teaching spiritual living.
The best thing to happen to me in life, so far, is learning to be an American. A real American, not calling myself an America because I was born here. Being born here doesn’t make you an American. Being an American makes you an American. The first requisite to being an American is spiritual living. Learning from experience and reflection, to trust beyond my ability to see and understand.
Loosing my needs for certainty, entitlement and control are the most liberating things possible within my human experience. Until you lose those needs, you are mastered by those needs, and disappointed by those failures. Certain failures too, as we cannot be certain, are not entitled, and have never been in control.
Teaching this to others has been one of my most rewarding “helps” I’ve given to others. It puts God problems back into God’s hands, and leaves us free to do what we want, with what we’ve got. No more failures, as we no longer expect things that are not possible (my ego is not God, for instance). We quit doing things that would never work, preempting anger and tiredness. No more futile frustrations either.
I continue to help myself best, by continuing to help others when I can. I do most of the things that need doing in my life. But there are still things for which I need the help of others, who I ask for help, and I get it. Likewise in helping others when asked, gives to me what I cannot do for myself. I cannot give myself merit. I have to earn it from service. For that I need you. This is the American way.
Clarity, unity, organization, action. Let’s not fail where it counts.
Be American. Stay American!
David Weeks, Information Developer, Tampa, Florida.