Hi. I’m an ordinary guy who’s survived some notable things, and eventually learned from those things.
Born October 11th, 1962, in Tampa, Florida, I got to grow up in a truly multi-cultured community, and experienced the sixties mania as a child. I grew up mostly in Seminole Heights, in Tampa, along with most of my family.
Much of what hurt my life, happened when I was really young, from birth to my pre-teen years. I was hurt by my neighbor (tied and tortured repeatedly), neglected (no one ever stopped this torture—nor punished my neighbor), and possibly (likely) raped by men for child pornography, organized by the psychiatrist hired by my parents to helps me with my “mysterious” troubles. I do not remember beyond my initial meeting of those people; I was perhaps drugged. The tell for me is my deep, innate inability to form any real relationships, and intimacy freaks me out. I am to this day, a “virgin.” Unhappily so.
I do not blame my parents for these things, they too were abused, and the lesson here is that abused children tend to tolerate abuse to children as adults. That’s my experience anyway.
I did not grow up unloved, nor in want of most of the things normal to working class life in Florida. But there is no doubt we are a disfunctional family. That’s information, not judgement. My younger sister hung herself (she’s dead) in the psych ward of Tampa General Hospital. My older sister was convicted of attempted murder of her son (my nephew). My grandmother had a “sickly” child, my uncle. I was my own mother’s “sickly” child. Both my sisters had “sickly” children. To me, that looks like systemic Munchausen syndrome by proxy (MSBP) . So it is no surprise to me that I grew up never EVER trusting ANYONE regarding ANYTHING. For me, that was a very hard way to live.
It turned out to be very instructive though.
Because I experienced repeated predations, I quickly learned to doubt everything, all the time. I learned a lot because of this. And I am a gifted learner. Here’s what I learned: people are overwhelmingly full of poo. Everything and everyone in my life, including myself at the time, lied as a virtue. Deception and manipulation were without exception, the normal mode of relations in our family, and in my community.
Though I no longer live that way, most people do.
In the words of Mandona, I “Live to tell.” And so I do.
Rather then make this a biography (I’m leaving LOTS of stuff out.) I close with this: fictitious culture is a hurtful and destructive culture (fiction cult). I now live simply, honestly, and without fear. That’s why I say the things I say, and do the things I do. Reality is what it is regardless of what I think it is, or want it to be. And reality is perfect. Reality succeeds, fiction does not.
This is now the work of my life. I highly recommend you read my articles “The Arbiter of Correct.” and “Violence.” You will find them helpful, or disturbing, depending on what you’re looking for.
David Weeks