In performing my work here, at davidweeks.us, it is important for me to remember:
- Why I am doing this.
- What I am doing.
- What I want to happen from what I am doing.
Paying attention to these three things is my reward for doing what I am doing.
Firstly, as a fellow fragile mortal human creature, I survive partly by my own efforts, but absolutely from the help of others too, who provide me with what I cannot do for myself. My ego doesn’t like it, but I do. In turn, I give back to others those things that I can do, in gratitude for getting from others, those things I cannot do.
Secondly, Information Development is about all I’m good for anymore. I’m old, injured, down right largely physically disabled—though you wouldn’t think so to see me—so I can no longer perform physically. I don’t think I could even do restaurant work anymore, not reliably. My injuries kept me out of law enforcement thirty years ago, and I’m much worse now than then. So I share my understanding of my struggle experiences, to provide possible insights into your own life’s doings.
Thirdly, I want to find a way to monetize what I do, for two reasons. When people pay their own money for something, it is because they’ve found value in what they purchase, which is validating. And I need to make a living, having no other source of income—except for what I can earn doing this sort of thing.
The money part is important, as people waste free things, endlessly. But put a cost on it, and they only purchase what is valuable. Paying for things too, giving up something you have, for something you want/need, is its own value, in addition to the benefits of the acquisition.
So returning to the assertion: why to work.
The meaning of life is to live. To live, I have to meet my logistical needs, beyond which I have free time to do as I please. My culture has been almost entirely one of learning and discovery, being socially isolated from a very early age. Isolated by torture, neglect and indifference, resulting in my hard learnt lesson to never trust anyone or anything—ever—experts labeled me “learning disabled” and I was placed into special education.
(Tard school in the vernacular. Heh heh heh, I can say that, having gone there. 🙂 Most labels are bullshit, by the way, including that one, when applied with seriousness. Now that I look at it, seriousness is itself mostly bullshit too. Huh.)
This is how my life started, and how I’ve lived most of it. Isolated by what I know about myself, that others wouldn’t imagine, or want to know. But I still care. Courtesy of these tragic experiences, I am sensitive and insightful. I see, I care, and I act to do what I can, with what I have. Even though I do not belong.
Missing in my life is companionship, functional family, working friendships. I am very dismissive of disingenuousness. My childhood experiences of exploitation taught me that disingenuousness people are predators. Enemies. People to isolate from. Trust having been eviscerated by the violences of deception, manipulation and physical altercation. Unfortunately most people are disingenuousness. And I choose to be alone, rather than have contact with the bullshit.
So my life is empty of those things most important: love and friendship. I’m damaged like that. All of that I share to make this point: as worthless as my life is, it is still me, and what I’ve got. I accept that I am damaged. Truth is, being alive is a miracle, for which I am grateful, having survived so many things that could have, perhaps should have, killed me. I live my life back to God.
This is why to work. To enjoy providing for myself, and having the things I use to flourish in my free time. I’m here, and I get to live. Why wouldn’t I?
There are no ideological objectives to be met. Those are fool errands, that have wasted much of my life. The only things real, that are mine to have and do, are my personal integrity, and the respect I hold for myself and those around me. That’s it.
There is no cause except to just be an American. And being an American isn’t ideological, it is spiritual.
Because I care about the work that I do, working itself is fulfilling. Its more about living, than making money to trade for stuff—while missing out on living. I don’t worry about having more or less, so long as I’ve got myself.
Why do you work?
Thanks for the visit. Please share this if you like. See you next time!
Clarity, unity, organization, action. Let’s not fail where it counts.
Be American. Stay American!
David Weeks, Information Developer, Tampa, Florida.